Waking Up to Yourself: Navigating the Shift From Mind to Heart

The First Fracture: Doubt as the Doorway Inward

I still vividly remember those early years in my thirties when I was living in Berlin — it was the first time I became truly aware of the concept of the "programming" embedded within societal systems. At that time, I had just arrived in Germany, adjusting to a new environment, trying to figure out how to blend in while maintaining a certain distance from the Taiwanese system I had grown up with. Many of my Taiwanese friends were walking towards the peak of their careers, visibly climbing the social and professional ladder. Compared to them, my days were spent quietly at home, brewing tea, journeying inward. In those early days, the anxiety inside me was immense — was I falling behind? Was I failing to integrate into Germany’s system? Was pausing equivalent to losing my worth? Countless doubts and fears brewed alongside every cup of tea I drank.

At the same time, I observed a similar phenomenon unfolding on the streets of Berlin: crowds of people rushing headlong toward something even they themselves couldn’t clearly define, busy proving their worth, frantically chasing external pleasures. It seemed that because everyone was heading in that direction, no one dared to fall behind. Enan was among them — dragging himself out of bed each morning to work, pushing himself to exhaustion, appearing highly "valuable" in society, yet lacking even the spirit to sit down for a proper meal or rest.

Over countless sessions of drinking tea alone, the tidal wave of fear and anxiety that had once swept over me began to subside. I found myself sinking into a timeless, isolated inner space, learning to be present with the ebbs and flows of each moment without judgment. As my mind gradually stilled, I was finally able to ask myself deeper questions and was no longer so easily shackled by external appearances.

Why is it that people of a certain age group seem to share the same kind of anxiety? Why are both Taiwanese and Germans seeking the same external validation for their sense of self-worth? And why is it almost always built upon the concept of material success? The lifestyles that seem so "normal" — the herd-like rush to chase goals and achievements — made me wonder: is this truly the only way to live? Is a life where functionality and rationality overpower the heart really the right path? It was in those moments of stillness, in quiet reflection, that I began to question many things.

Even though I had started questioning, back then, no one around me lived any differently. So I spent many years doubting myself — battling continuous waves of inner conflict, anxiety, and fear. Every time those emotions surfaced, I tried to see them clearly instead of pushing them away. In the process of recognizing and untangling those knots within myself, I slowly made peace with who I was. Layer by layer, I ventured deeper into my inner world. Sitting down with tea became my steady anchor — no matter how intense the inner storms, every cup offered me comfort and healing. Tea gave me the courage to hold myself through difficult transitions, to explore, and to get to know who I truly was. Tea offered a background of calm and stillness that allowed my inner world to gently unfold.

Now that I’ve reached a different stage of life, I can look back and see how many of my early confusions have unraveled. I see so many others still caught in the same webs that once trapped me, and that’s why I’m writing this piece — to document what I observed during those early years of inner work, hoping it might help you break through some of the blind spots you're facing right now.

The Operating System We Inherited

We have, without a doubt, been indoctrinated by a twisted ideology and system from the moment we were born — especially starting with our entrance into the school system. Beyond that, society and culture have accumulated layers upon layers of distorted karmic patterns across generations. It’s difficult to pinpoint a clear origin within this massive web, and honestly, it’s not necessary — what matters is simply realizing that much of what we were taught growing up is fundamentally flawed.

From this point alone, humanity already begins to split into two types:

Those who see all this as completely "normal," and those who, deep down, feel that something is not quite right. Most people fall into the first category. They are content to follow the programming: Comparing themselves to others, seeking validation from external authorities, finding their sense of value through competition — this was the basic operating system installed in us from our earliest days in a classroom. From there, a seemingly "logical" sequence was laid out: Get married by a certain age, land a certain kind of job, achieve specific material milestones. Even ideals about physical appearance, personality traits, hobbies, love, and friendship seemed to have a standardized "success" template. Everyone was moving toward these markers, continuing to compete along the same points of comparison. This linear model of competition — from classmates to schools, from age groups to entire cultures and nations — repeats itself endlessly, forming a collective echo chamber so pervasive that you hear the same narrative no matter where you go. This has become our shared societal karma — pathologically normalized deep into our very nervous systems. Following this path, which is based entirely on comparison and competition, inevitably generates intense anxiety. Yet ironically, not following it triggers anxiety as well.

The outcome of adhering to mainstream values is a life perpetually busy chasing external approval, leaving no room for true self-reflection. People drown again and again in fleeting moments of recognition or pleasure, like hamsters running endlessly on a wheel. Maybe there are moments of frustration or sadness along the way, but as long as they manage to secure success and the temporary stability that comes with it, they convince themselves they’re "basically happy.” Often, coping mechanisms are used to numb the underlying discomfort. Even if something deep inside feels off, the accumulated fears, unprocessed emotions, and the sheer weight of years of avoidance make facing the truth feel unbearably costly. Layer after layer, these habitual cognitive patterns entrench themselves until people unconsciously pass the very same programming on to the next generation.

Those Who Begin to Wake Up

Another type of person is someone who wakes up from this phenomenon. The timing of awakening varies: some begin at a very young age and consciously choose not to participate in the game; some awaken in their twenties or early thirties; others experience it during a so-called midlife crisis—after achieving success and material wealth, they find themselves still unable to feel joy. Or it may not happen until one day when the accumulation of emotional toxins in the body leads to illness, finally forcing them to pause and examine whether something about themselves or their life has gone wrong. Pain is the signal that helps us wake up.

Those who wake up may go through the following states. Since everyone's timing and life journey are different, the experiences vary from person to person. What I share is only a broad pattern—please simply take in what resonates with your current state of mind.

The First Glimpse: Doubt, Disorientation, and Tug-of-War

Waking up does not mean a person is instantly "better"; it is the beginning of a very long process of change. Feeling lost and doubting oneself is completely normal. Since we have only learned to follow programs and routines since childhood, breaking away from these habits will trigger a lot of inner anxiety. Moreover, seeing people around us continue living seemingly "normal" lives intensifies the pull of rational thinking and the habitual urge to plan for the future. "Am I doing the right thing?" There will be a long period of tug-of-war between the voice of the mind and the voice of the heart. People often oscillate back and forth many times.

Emotional Detox and the Collapse of the Old Self

This is followed by a period of actual transition, which is often the most painful and chaotic time. A lot of deeply buried emotional trash surfaces; the body appears to lose its sense of order and manifests symptoms that were not noticeable before. On the surface, it may seem as if the person is getting worse, but in reality, the body is undergoing self-healing and recovery. In the past, it wasn't that people were "healthy" and "never sick"; rather, the physical and mental pressure was so overwhelming that the body couldn't even afford to fall sick—it simply switched to survival mode.

Learning to listen to the body's messages, relaxing and resting more to boost the flow of energy and blood, eating more whole foods, and approaching discomfort as a way to know oneself can all help. If methods like meditation or yoga are also used to regulate the body and mind, the detox process will be smoother. At times, you may hear the voice of the heart, but most of the time, rational thinking will still lead the way. If there are people who have gone through this before sharing their experiences and offering support, it will be much easier to stay on course.

At work, you may want to switch career paths, but real life still requires money, so you go through a transitional period of uncertainty. During this time, you continue to face the fear of money. Uncertainty about your career path can trigger a lot of fear. This fear snowballs into a panic about the future, making it difficult for many to overcome the cycle of rational thinking and causing them to either stagnate or give up.

Looking back from the latter two stages, it's very clear that the biggest obstacle in this phase comes from all the "commonsense" beliefs in your mind, which are the thought patterns instilled in you since childhood. In the past, present, and future, everything follows a linear logic. Seeking security, recognition, reasonable planning, and a sense of control—these are the brain's thought patterns and survival mechanisms. If you don’t follow these patterns, life seems to lead toward destruction. This is why people cling to these things throughout their lives. During this period, cultivating the habit of quieting the mind is crucial. The ability to observe objectively helps you see through the mental mechanisms I’ve described and understand how they work, so that you’re not trapped by them. This makes you more open to exploring possibilities beyond reason. The length of the detox phase varies for each person. The more painful the process, the faster the awakening and change. For some, it's a slow awakening. In any case, it’s a process that can take years, so it’s important to be patient with yourself. Don’t expect that everything will be perfect after a year or two—this is just another form of the brain's habitual expectation for immediate results, which will only lead to disappointment.

Returning to Innocence: Rediscovering What You Love

In this phase, a person continues to detox physically and emotionally. Even if there aren't many breakthroughs in external circumstances, there's a growing sense of certainty—knowing that what you believe in your heart is right, and you can continue to persist. Unlike the previous phase, which was primarily painful detoxing, the challenge in this phase is discovering what you truly enjoy or want to do. Since childhood, we haven't had the opportunity to develop this area of our lives. Some people even have to start from scratch to discover what they truly like. Originally, this should have been an innocent exploration, like that of a child. But as adults, rationality intervenes, and we think that these likes must be things that can sustain our livelihood, and that there should be results after a period of time. Whether it’s from ourselves or from others, we often add invisible time pressures to self-discovery, which can cause stress. The most important thing is to stay objectively awake inside, giving yourself enough time and space to listen to your inner voice without letting goals overly influence this exploration. You still need to take care of your basic living expenses, and finding the right balance to handle external pressures and life’s rhythm is a very important practice. If you reach this stage, you've essentially learned to see through the money anxiety of the previous phase. The anxiety came from society's definitions of wealth, but now you view money as a tool and an energy source. As long as it’s enough to support your current situation, it’s fine. You can now focus your energy more on the depth and joy of inner exploration. As this inner happiness continues to grow, the external influences become smaller, and your understanding of life undergoes profound, fundamental changes.

During this period, what is needed is a quiet space and more contact with nature. It becomes easier to gain clarity and grow more certain inside, allowing you to accept the changes happening externally. Trying new things is also very important because new skills take time to develop. With more courage, you can endure failure and view it as a positive learning curve. Through continuous attempts, you will also become more aware of what you need and don't need, what you want and don't want. In the end, it’s important to open your heart and allow yourself to embrace setbacks.

Clarity, Confidence, and the Emergence of a New Life

In this phase, the old belief system is mostly clarified, and the accumulated emotional "garbage" has been detoxed. As a result, the person's overall energy frequency naturally becomes lighter, more elevated, and filled with brightness. At the same time, the previous phase of stumbling and experimenting like a child has passed, and you can now focus more on the selection process, refining your choices. The newly discovered talents or interests will begin to mature, giving you more confidence to use these abilities to serve society and create money through exchanges to support your life. You’ll have more courage and strength to create and pursue what you truly desire. You’ve undergone a complete transformation, now able to see the logic and cycles within the system. You can consciously choose how much you want to engage with it and make intentional adjustments to how your life unfolds. You will have a clearer sense of what you need, the value you can offer, and the lifestyle you desire. Reality will start to align with your inner desires, instead of being controlled by the system as it was before.

Letting Go Hurts — But Staying Hurts More

I’m still in the process of inner detox and self-exploration. There are still many struggles—both within and without. Clarity comes at a cost; facing the raw truth of my own heart and moving through the pain and defense mechanisms is anything but easy. This entire process is like a caterpillar undergoing metamorphosis. Before becoming a butterfly, it must painfully shed its skin. You have to let go of old beliefs and unlearn the conditioned habits, step by step, moving toward inner freedom. The pain experienced here might be greater than that of those who follow the old programmed path because numbing yourself is easy. However, choosing to face your inner pain and trauma, acknowledging your weakness, allowing fear to take control, and starting over can be terrifying. But after you go through it, you’ll know that it’s all worth it. You will no longer be bound by the same pain for the next thirty years. Even if things don’t blow up immediately, eventually, you will have to face them. Why wait until there are no other choices?

From Mind to Heart: Reconnecting With the Soul

The key to this entire life transformation is that you will shift from the consciousness of the mind back to your inner self, reconnecting with what some call your higher self or soul. For most of us, our minds are at work most of the time, and we rarely feel our hearts. Mainstream values in civilization and society are built on the worship of the mind and the denial of the heart. So, when you talk about the heart, you might hesitate, wondering if others will think you're strange. Throughout this process, you will gradually feel more connected to your inner self. At first, it may just be a small feeling, but eventually, you’ll be able to live in alignment with your heart. When you truly experience that happiness, you’ll understand that the joy derived from material and worldly success is like a plastic bubble. You won't want to lose that sense of fulfillment. Your heart will stabilize and begin to create. Your view of relationships will also change. You won’t expect others to complete you anymore; you will be able to complete yourself, and your relationships with others will become a true blessing. You will genuinely rejoice in others' success and happiness, wishing them the best as they pursue their dreams.

Stillness as a Portal Back to Yourself

It’s really important to quiet the mind because stillness provides you with a stable anchor point, allowing you to always return to it for grounding and clarity. It also enables a direct connection with your inner self, allowing you to discern the noise of the mind. Confusion arises from the mind’s thinking, and problems are often caused by the narrow, fragmented views of the mind. When you try to solve problems with the mind, you may create new problems that require more time to fix. Quieting the mind is about seeing through the entire puzzle of the mind. Drinking tea combined with stillness is a wonderful tool. Simply sitting down for meditation might feel uncomfortable for some, but drinking tea naturally guides you into a state of stillness. The natural frequency of tea helps attune you to this state, allowing you to better understand yourself. Tea becomes like a sincere friend, guiding you to the depths of your heart, helping you get to know yourself and return to your true self.