Wanting Change vs. Creating Change — Which One Are You?

Some people want real change. Others want the idea of change. The difference between the two can shape a lifetime.

The Two Types of Change-Seekers

We all start in the same place: a comfort zone. Things are working. Or at least they appear to be. You have a career. A family. A routine. A version of success you once dreamed of. But then something begins to stir. A quiet discomfort. A sense that something isn't aligned. That you’ve outgrown the shape of your life.

This is where the cycle of change begins.

There are two types of people in this cycle. The first I call the Activore. The second, the Stagnivore.

The Activore feeds on forward motion. They encounter discomfort and turn it into direction. They leave the comfort zone, face friction, meet resistance, and keep going. Their journey follows a path of eight stages.

Stage 1: Comfort Zone

Every journey begins within the comfort zone. Life is steady, predictable. Needs are met, expectations are fulfilled. Yet, over time, a sense of restlessness often arises. It's not dissatisfaction with external conditions, but an internal sense that growth has stalled. The comfort zone, once a safe haven, starts to feel like a limitation.

Stage 2: Desire for Change

Discomfort surfaces as a longing for something more. This could be a desire for a new career, a different lifestyle, or a deeper sense of meaning. The pain point becomes too persistent to ignore. The Activore identifies this need clearly and recognizes that staying still is no longer an option. The Stagnivore also feels this urge but interprets it as a passing discomfort rather than a call to action.

Stage 3: Stepping Out

With the recognition of a need comes the decision to move. Leaving the comfort zone is rarely dramatic; often it is marked by small but significant steps: starting a new project, initiating a difficult conversation, changing a daily routine. The Activore understands that action, not just intention, is required. The Stagnivore hesitates, dipping a toe into new waters but quickly withdrawing when uncertainty arises.

Stage 4: Facing Friction

Real movement triggers resistance. Obstacles emerge: financial pressures, unsupportive relationships, self-doubt. This stage tests the seriousness of the desire for change. The Activore faces these barriers head-on, seeing them as necessary parts of the journey. The Stagnivore encounters friction and recoils, overwhelmed by fear and limiting beliefs. This is the critical point where most journeys stall.

Stage 5: Overcoming Obstacles

The Activore persists through the discomfort. They navigate around obstacles or push directly through them. Progress is rarely linear; it requires adaptability, courage, and an acceptance of imperfection. Each small victory builds momentum. For the Stagnivore, the obstacles are perceived as insurmountable, confirming their fears and providing justification for retreating to safety.

Stage 6: Paying the Price

Change demands sacrifice. Choosing one path means letting go of another. You cannot live in five countries at once, or simultaneously commit to two conflicting futures. Sacrifice is inevitable. The Activore understands this trade-off and accepts it willingly. They know that freedom requires decisions. The Stagnivore resists sacrifice, clinging to every possibility and, in doing so, achieving none.

Stage 7: Building a New Structure

Through action and sacrifice, the Activore constructs a new reality. A new routine, a new relationship with self, a new environment. Change is no longer an aspiration — it is lived experience. A new comfort zone is formed, but it is different in quality: wider, deeper, more aligned with the individual’s current truth. The Stagnivore, meanwhile, remains in the old structure, reentering the cycle of longing without true transformation.

Stage 8: Manifestation and Renewal

With the new structure comes a sense of arrival — but not an ending. From this new place, new desires arise. Growth does not stop. The Activore naturally enters the next cycle, carrying forward the lessons and resilience gained. Each completed cycle strengthens their capacity for future transformations. The Stagnivore, however, remains trapped in the early stages 1-4, cycling between comfort and longing without ever embarking on a full journey of change.

Patterns, Not Permanence

The Activore and Stagnivore are not fixed identities. They are patterns — and patterns can change.

Many Activores become Stagnivores when they rest too long on their past achievements. Likewise, many Stagnivores eventually gather the courage to act. The critical difference lies in agency: the willingness to act in the face of discomfort and uncertainty.

Growth Demands Discomfort

The comfort zone offers predictability and safety, but it does not offer growth. Growth demands risk, sacrifice, and persistence. It demands the willingness to endure discomfort without immediate reward.

Real change is not about grand gestures. It is about the daily choice of little steps to move forward, however imperfectly. It is about choosing action over delay, substance over fantasy.

If you want a reality check on which type you are — Activore or Stagnivore — ask yourself what you did the last time discomfort visited your life.

Did you move toward it? Or did you turn away?

The answer will show you everything you need to know.


Watch the video here: